if.

if i can just forget. i would.
if i can stop thinking. i would.
if i have to leave you to make you happy. i would.
if life is so simple. i wont be here struggling.
At many times i will break down. I will cry my lungs out.
I did not expect it to be infront of u.
There are so many if-s that i would do.
I miss bein 16 with ntg to worry.
i miss being 18 where i would club from we to sat.
I miss being having alot of money.
I miss throwing money to people so everyone is happy.
Mum is being a pain in the ass.
For the very 1st time i open up to aunt.
Not knowing the outcome.
She was shock what i went through, all my 20yrs.
I dont feel loved in the family.
Thats why i'd rather listen to aunt than you.
You and dad have issues and better settle it fast b4 me and the bro leave the house .
Thats when everything will open up and you'll be in trouble.
I have survived you not giving wat i needed.
I guess loving someone isn't that easy.